Awkward Couple Photos

“This is the perfect photo for our Save the Date! I really think it encapsulates our relationship dynamic!”

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Breast or thigh?”
“I’ll take breast, please!”

Going South

Readers, please welcome the “Balls” category. It is a glorious day.

? t ?

This person is definitely transitioning, but for the life of me I cannot tell which direction they’re transitioning in.

Miami Vices

That Don Johnson was such a stud.

“Foreverrrrr….”

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Cheryl was a vampire. Second, there was a part of her—and I didn’t know how potent that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.”

That’s right, bitches: New Moon opens today. Get your vibrators and head to the nearest multiplex because I hear there’s some hot underage werewolf action.

Cover thy shame!

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; but he did not eat.

And her eyes were opened, and she knew that they were naked, and she knew that his face was not goodly; and she sewed fig leaves together, and covered that shit up.”

– Alternate-Universe Genesis 3:6-7 (Dolly Mountjoy Translation)

Socks

Yup.

Pirate Play

“Avast, ye scurvy lass or I’ll blow my cannon through yer porthole before ol’ Polly gets her cracker!”

“Ow, it hurts!!!”

Just relax and angle it slightly, missy.

Thanks to reader Lauren for the suggestion!